Teardrops on my guitar

I was just listening to the song "Teardrops On My Guitar" now. Early on in the day, i was practicing the guitar and part of the time, I practiced bass lines on the bass parts of the acoustic guitar. I suddenly thought of my bass guitar. If you don't know what happen to it, well, my dad took it and sold it away for a lame reason. The bass guitar meant so much to me. I was so afraid of my other bass guitar suffering the same fate, that I left it in safe hands with Julia and Rallen. Thank God for them. Anyway, I re-wrote the song "teardrops on my guitar" to fit this context.

I realize that I still can't forgive. I seriously don't know how. I pass by him day and night. I seriously can't. I need help. I know I need to forgive him, but I don't know how. I thought it's forgiven, but I guess I'm wrong.  Gosh. I'm crying now.

"Teardrops on my guitar" -can't be sang to though. 

Dad looks at me

He fakes a smile so I can't see

What he wants and what he needs

And everything that he deserve

I bet he's incorrigible

That tone he speaks

And he's got my bass guitar

That I have to live without now

Dad shouts at me

I laugh cause its so funny

It's my bass guitar you are talking about here

As if its his to begin with

He says he is borrowing it

He still thinks he is right

I wonder if he knows

Basic thing such as ask

He says he's so in need

He still can't get it right

I wonder if he knows

He is the pain in our hearts

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that withheld me from moving on

He's the angst in my life

Don't know why he is doing this

Dad walks past me

Can't he see I'm in pain?

And there he goes, so nonchalant

The kind of attitude that makes me sick

He better meant his word

Give back what he owe

Look at these lives he broke

And know the truth

He's the reason for the teardrop on my guitar

The only thing that witheld me from moving on

He's the angst in my life

Don't know why I felt this way

So I swallowed it down

As I try to move on

I'll put it all behind me

And maybe get some sleep tonight

He took from us and it's never enough

To quench his appetite for money

Dad looks at me

He fakes a smile so I won't see

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If only he knew how I felt. Everyone needs closure in life. I just don't have the guts to speak up. I'm sorry, to those who kept asking me to speak up. I don't have the guts. I don't wanna perish. Probably someone would just help me tell my mum i need closure for this to move on. It's the jigsaw puzzle piece i got to win to fit it into the big picture of my purpose in life. God, i need You. 

Im not going to bother other people by telling them what is going on in me right now. Probably i'll get over it soon. I bother my leader too much about it already. My mum is in great stress. My sis can't take it anymore too. My friends are turning deaf on me. So, don't tell me to erase this post. 

Besides this, around this time in 2006, my beloved music instructor past away. Probably I'm just feeling it all. I didn't really weep when i heard the news even though he is someone important to me. 

I need closure to move on.