Life

In 2005/2006, I always felt that my days are numbered.

NOW, IM FEELING THE SAME WAY TOO. MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED? OH NO.

Randomness that matters

Haven't blogged for weeks. Or should i say...more than a month. STOP bugging me to update. So irritating you know.

This blog post is going to be random. Everything gel up in one post.

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Finished all my modules for the term. Learnt a lot of lessons from it. Learnt to be wise, confident etc.

So glad HRM is over. Can't stand that module coz i don't like Human Resource Management.

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found people who supports my vision and dreams. So for those 'unbelievers' of my dream, i can't blame you, nor be mad at you. But what i can say is....I know one day you will see the big picture of what im going to create.

"Creation is always the union of both talent and suffering"

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I found out the reason why i love fashion. Fashion is complex and yet it is open. It is not judgmental but it is full of critics to help bring it to a whole new level. Loving fashion for what it is. A way to help me express myself without holding back.

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Dreams. I love to see things. But sometimes i would rather not dream. Have been speaking to some people about my dreams and i think most of them don't believe. But it doesn't matter to me anymore. I used to think that it matters. But now i have a renewed mindset about it.

"What you are seeing is just bits and pieces of the future that is about to come".

So, it doesn't matter anyway if who i dreamt of know about it.

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I realised the importance of time. We are living in a time-poverty world right now. In order to carry on this fight of faith, a christian has got to know that we are running out of time. Don't spend time on unnecessary things that will waste your time/life away. Keep focusing on the goal of your race. For that is what you will get if you don't lose heart.

There is no shortcuts in this. BUT there is always the presence of distraction. Sometimes, distraction will come and it's up to you to decide to stay focus. Once we get distracted, it means there is lesser time to work for the kingdom of God.

Probably you may think that that means there is no time for personal stuff etc. I dont mean that. Distraction is more of like things that will pull you away from your goal. Rather than drawing you closer in. ALWAYS REMEMBER, THERE IS A SEASON FOR EVERYTHING. IF IT IS NOT THE SEASON FOR YOU RIGHT NOW, DON'T JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON AND GO WHEN YOU THINK IT IS TIME. REMEMBER TO FOLLOW GOD'S TIMETABLE.

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Sometimes, it is easy to get caught with what you are facing now, and not see the future ahead. I think about you, a part of me cries out you. It is not only me who felt that way, but some around too. Whatever came before you, is more than meets the eye. I don't want your future to be history. Arise, my friend. Look at the bigger picture. Hate us for life, we will still feel the same way. You may not know what is coming, and I am not much of a guide. But we are feeling so low right now whenever we see that. Wake up, my friend. You may not treat us as your close friends, but just remember, we really do care for you.

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Accusations is coming my way soon. Im putting on my armor already. What i promise not to say, i won't. It's just that it is getting too obvious, and what you try to make it sounds like you are right, in fact, you are wrong. But it doesn't matter, trials and tribulations i have been through. It is just a stage that i have to go through again i guess. But i think it's going to be a waste of my time. Coz it's not me. Seriously. Go bark the right tree, see within yourself. Look at the actions you take. Probably you will realise what you are doing now, is like....self-invited "persecutions" or "judgements". You don't want it, but yet you make it so obvious. Oh man. Help. God. Help.

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There are million maps in my head. Too many. So i really need a compass and a bag of rocks.

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I always like to analyze people's words one sentence at a time if it means something. I felt that the sort of persuasion, i'm sorry, i don't buy it. Just to let you know, i don't like to cover up for you.

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They are not ready yet. Help.

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When are they coming back? Am missing them...

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My birthday is coming soon!

I want:

• A balmian jacket
• A leather jacket
• New pair of jeans
• Ed hardy
• Accessories
• Bag- big enough to put laptop, notebook etc. Must be stylish looking.
• Wardrobe change
• Metronome
• Money
• Tickets to watch Lady GaGa
• Borders vouchers, Kinokuniya vouchers. BASHEER vouchers
• Wallet
• Shoes

Wow...the list goes on and on.

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Ok. Signing off.

P.S If you think that I'm talking about you, maybe you are right, maybe you are wrong. Discern for yourself, use your 6th senses if you believe in 6th sense haha!

To all my beloved

TO THOSE WHO HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO MY SCHOOL FEES, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU GUYS, 

I WANNA DO YOU GUYS PROUD.

ESPECIALLY SO....

TO MY MUM. 

I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET THOSE HANDS THAT FEED ME.

ESPECIALLY TO GOD. WHO CONSTANTLY PROVIDES. 

But today, i felt so disappointed with myself. I will try harder next time. 

The other day, my sister told me that she saw my father on her way home. Today, i overheard her telling my mum that he passed by my sister. I was wondering to myself....what is the main cause of all of this? What makes my family what it is today? 

These few days, I thought about many things. I realised that it's not that i'm missing my father or anything...it's just that...I find the entire situation very pitiful. It's like...what if...what if....

I know everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, i wonder why. I wonder why God places in so many situations that it seems to have surpass the number of ordeals an adult might have gone through in comparison to age. [this is because i was taken aback when an adult told me so]. I wonder why God places in the family I am in. I wonder why I am who I am today. I wonder why I always have to fight for what I believe in, what I want in life. 

BUT GOD says...."For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD,thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11. 

Everything happens for a reason. I know that I can trust in God...for my God reigns. 

Let Go and Let God

By Nikki Fletcher

At times I've found it difficult to trust. 

I like to be in control.

I'd like to be able to speed up that very 

certain future, because I've been sure

of what is best and what i want and

who i am and where I'm going and, and

actually it's never quite enough and, and

I don't want to mess it up and people are

watching and people are talking and I

have to keep up, actually I have to be on 

top and, and....

   Let Go

        Let Go

               Let Go

   

                           Let God. 

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I tried hard to forgive a man, who had just ruin my life. 

I struggled with God.

Till I let go. 

On that very morning.....

On a sunday..

It is then...

That I....

Let Go.

and...

Let God. 

Updates (5th May 2009)

1. Am going to help out at Audi Fashion Week- Wed, Thurs and Sat. Visit www.audifashionweek.com for more info.
2. Going to spend more time doing projects now. Better do it progressively so there would be lesser stress for the entire group when the mid-term exams or final exams are drawing near. 
3. Only need to go to school for 2 modules this week due to exemption from class due to Audi Fashion Week! How cool is that?
4. Has been eating instant noodles practically everyday....am becoming a good cook...but it's detrimental to my health. Help.
5. Am worried and kinda dreading 1st June to come. Am praying for a miracle from God (if you know what it is, please keep me in prayer. Thanks)

Will update again on sunday (hopefully). Will share about Audi fashion week...

Whee!! Here i come....Audi fashion week. 

What if it is going to be with you the rest of your life?

What happens....if you realized that you have got a fault in your life? Probably a health problem, an addiction, a personality disorder or mental health problem....What would you do?

Some would blame everyone and anyone, inclusive of their parents. Some would try to block it out, while others will look for a solution.

What if....there ain't a solution? What are you going to do? If it is constant thing that you have to fight against, would you fight? Or would you give up at one point in your life?

Poh shared this with us after cg the other day. Well, it's interesting to think about this. Poh said that Pastor Bobby was the one who shared this. Pastor Bobby's wife, Cindy, suffered from low self-esteem and negativity ever since she was young. Her family and all makes it worst. It got better when she knew God. Everyday, constantly, negative thoughts will fill her mind and she has to fight it off by telling herself positive things and the promises of the Bible. One day, as she was praying, she asked God why she kept having such thoughts. Then, she felt that God said this, "What if this is going to stay with you the rest of your life?"

Wow. How would you approach this? Everyone has a battle they have to fight in their life. Probably that obsession with food, that addiction to computer games, that uncontrollable rage within....whatever it may be...what if....it is going to be with you the rest of your life? What would you do?

Well..everyone has different approach to this. What is yours? The struggles i face in life, is definitely different from yours. My approach, will obviously differs as well.

Think this through. "What if...it is going to be with you the rest of your life?" What are you going to do?

Doing reflection is good for progress.