Mess

I dont wanna clean up the mess you left on the floor.






i always thought that probably blogging is a way to pen down my frustrations, feelings etc. But i guess even right now, i have no mood to blog. What's the point? But am i keeping it all on the inside of me? I'm tired of repeating myself. So tired. If you can't help, then don't bother asking.



I'm not yours truly.

Schedule for this two weeks

Below is my schedule for this coming 2 weeks:

17 Nov: MAC makeup session@ Takashimaya outlet
18 Nov: IML Full run
19-23 Nov: Asia Conference
24-26 Nov: Bump in sessions
27 Nov: IML opening


27-5 Dec: It's My Life! Musical


So, busy busy busy. Physical strength, creativity, wisdom is all i need. With Him i can soar like an eagle.

Changes

I just changed my hair color.

I just changed my ez-link card.

I wish to change my situation, but i prefer to overcome it.

I wish for next year to come now, but i prefer to live my last lap of the year to the fullest.

Updates

Its been a while since I've last blogged. Well, today (13/11/2008) was supposedly to be a busy day for me. Anyway, i'm amazed that I have finished the stuff that i am supposed to do and well, its already 3.15am and here i am blogging. 13/11/2008, i met with 1 accident and 2 freak incidents. The bus that i was on nearly overturn on my side of the bus. Someone from mediacorp asked me to join them and lastly, a lady( i think she suffers some eye problem) and she is mute kept indicating that I should do something about the pimples and acne on my face when i was taking the escalator at Tangs. The escalator took so long and well, she kept insisting that i should and so i said, "alright".

The previous sunday, Sharlyn also mentioned to me about it. Probably its time for me to really go for it.

So, what had happened to me from 29/10/2008 till now?
- I completed image consultant course
-going through rehearsals for Asia Conference
-rehearsals for It's My Life! (bump-in period now)


alright. I'm seriously tired now. Am going to bed. A great day lies ahead of me!

Support for students

Hi guys and gals. Kindly support my students from Dunman Sec as they have set up a website selling tees, contact lens, bags and hoodies. The website is


www.two-buttcheek.blogspot.com

Radio Recording

22 October 2008

I woke up pretty early to go for a radio recording at safra radio guard house which is the residence of POWER98FM. Well, we went there to record for the It's My Life! commercial which requires our voices for the commercial. It's pretty fun, but I'm the only one over there that needs to do it twice. BUT praise the Lord, Rong and Iffah together with Kheng Hua are all very encouraging and supporting me all the way, though Kheng is rushing for another appointment but she still didn't rush me through and even the DJ, Sebastian, taught me how to do it rightly. All in all, i could say that this is a great opportunity for me to learn as well as a great chance for me to develop my self-confidence. So really thank God for it and stay tuned to POWER98FM. Continue supporting us by logging on to www.gatecrash.com.sg to purchase the tickets to IT'S MY LIFE! MUSICAL.


Cameras and mobile phones with camera functions are not allowed to be brought into the entire SAF area so well, i surrender all of my gadgets and therefore this pic is taken outside the building! This is also the time whereby we are shocked by Kheng's 'magic'. Haha.

Aunty Mina's Baptism

19.10.2008

This is the date of my aunt's second birth. The first birth happens in our life without our consent, because God gave us our life. However, the second birth in our life happens when we proclaim and confess that our Lord Jesus Christ lives in you and through your action of baptism, you are showing the whole world and similarly to our natural birth, we will wail and cry when we are born. Thus, this date is significant to my aunt because she has decided to follow Christ all her life.


I'm so proud of you!


On that very same day, my first and second aunt respectively,aunt Judy and aunt Cecilia, and my uncle's wife, aunt Irene, gave their hearts to Jesus Christ. Whee~ Praise the Lord. When one is save in the household, the entire household shall be saved. Amen!


These kids from my uncle's church seems to be so amazed at the fact that their stage can actually be turned into a pool.

My Sabbath Day

Monday. Normally, it's the start of a routine type of life. HOWEVER, today, i have got my off-day! Whee. Anyway, it's my Sabbath day. Supposedly, i'm to wake up early to go for a jog around the park like last Wednesday. However, i didn't. Well, probably a Sabbath day shouldn't be a day of work right? Hee. Anyway, i went to the bank just now in the afternoon. Before that, i read the book i borrowed for my course for next year (ain't i Kiasu?) and started reading it. It's a thick book but i'm still at the introduction page and I'm so immersed in the book. Then, i went to the bank. I can't believed that a banker or financial adviser like the guy who served me is so patient, so kind and understanding. Thank God for him. When i came back home, i started during research, read-ups and watch the Hong Kong drama series (read my previous blog entry for which show i'm currently watching) as well as the same old english drama series. Hmm. Just now, not long ago, i read up some verses from the Bible and i felt that well, today is not a wasted day after all for my Sabbath day. Hee. I can't remember who i talked to before, but well, we both agree that every week, every individual should just take a day off or time off for self, away from others and time for relaxation, self-reflection and a peaceful time alone doing things that one likes. Every day we hear bad news, and as the days pass us by, the curve just goes from one extreme to the another. So, if we dont learn how to relax and have time for reflection, we will all go nuts. Tomorrow morning i'm going to wake up early and go for a jog, so that i will feel refreshed and gear myself up for the entire week ahead!

He stole my things. In broad daylight. Then later he is going to put it back again. Thinking i wouldn't know. Dumb.

Achievements

On tuesday, i planned to wake up early on wednesday morning to go for a jog at the park near my house. On wednesday morning, my mum woke me up reminding me of my jog and i told myself that i will get up half an hour later. True enough, when my alarm ring, i suddenly got up and my body posture was erect. I wonder why. The night before, i prayed to God about my jog and i mentioned that i wanna be a woman of my word that when i say i will run, i will run and i ask God to help me if i suddenly gave excuses. Probably the Holy Spirit pulled me out of dreamland and into reality. Praise the Lord! I ran about 2km or more around the park and few rounds around the basketball court perimeter. Hee. I felt so full of glee after that.

Birthday Card

Its been months since I last did a birthday card for anyone. This time, i did a birthday card for Yvonne from my cell group and we are going to present it to her later on during cell group meeting. I spent about 2hours doing this with the help of my mum in the gluing so i hope she will like it and well, i did not put in 100% into it but i believe that i can still proudly declare that i have put in effort. Anyway, below are the images i took of the card and i seriously hope that she will not visit my blog before cell group meeting! Haha....(my pictures are not rotated when i upload it. blogger seems to do magic and rotate it for me. )

What I'm currently watching

I'm currently watching this tvb series online. I dont have starhub cable nor mio tv and if you know me well, i can't even watch tv at home but nonetheless, i still can watch online! (stupid man). And watching online seems to be faster than starhub cable for some english series that i'm watching too. Anyway, i hate the guy in spectacles in this show. Reminds me of my friend. BUT i like the actor. He is one good actor in this show and others as well. (The picture i got it from tvb website.)



I pity the guy on the right. The actor name is Kevin Cheung. Well, in the show, his life is very miserable as he went to jail for 10 years for murder upon which he is innocent. The one who is the real murderer is the guy on the left of the picture. He acts innocent and manipulates others to believe that he is a good guy. For more info, do watch this series or check online for more details.

Blogs

I have been reading many blog entries of people that i know and strangers blog that i stumble upon be it locally or those from other countries. I realised that there is a huge gap between local blogs and those from foreign countries. It is in the content of what they blogged about. Anyway, i believed that blogging can be fun, but at times, the way we portray a certain object or subject, changes the objectivity of the entire thing. Sometimes, i get bored by reading just one post from a blog because it is either everything about themselves, what they do (like as though i'm watching their every second and moment of their day), or that i find it hard to understand what they are writing due to short form type of writing, wrong choice of diction etc. Probably people are bored of my blog, but i dont care at all. It is my persuasion after all.

Mtt

I felt so happy just to go to mtt. But in the meantime, i do not know why, im just wondering, where is my passion? I loved music since i was a kid. Was it because of what happened to my bass guitar? To the times that i wanna practice but was stopped had it caused a shadow over my life? Then again, God is great. I still loved going for strikeforce practices and listening to Boon's speech. I will cling on and stay together with the vision of Boon for 2010. I believed that we can do it!


I will be an overcomer. Whatever shadow that is over my life right now with regards to music, i will overcome it!

Lost

I lost my freedom. 1st Oct marks the day that i lost my freedom of expression. Of playing the guitar. He kicked the door so hard. I actually do hope he kicked it open. BUT he didn't. Lousy. So much for your 'anger' . Thanks for your pretense. I dislike you even more now.

I can't watch F1 on tv now because he is watching it now. AND when i came out of the toilet after bathing, i caught a glimpse of FERRARI. My favorite team. Shucks.

Character

She said that I am complex. I did not ask why. Probably i knew why, but on the other hand, i dont think i know at all.

My Head

Few years ago(i forgot how many years ago), i banged my head against the car pillar therefore causing a dent in my skull. Well, this does not happen once, but TWICE. Anyway, after that, i always have headaches but i thought that it might not be that serious after all. However, this few days, around the injured area, i felt pain and everything and though it is only pain that i feel, im sorta worried about it and suspect that i have got a depressed skull fracture. It sounds scary to me but still, i didn't tell my mum about it and well, i'm just gonna save money and go for an xray to make sure that everything is ok. I would be praying for good health but in the meantime, i guess i would have another thing to save money for. Haiz. Anyway, if anyone has got spare cash to waste, always feel free to consider "donating" to be for me to see a doctor. Haha.

F1

When i was a kid, i played with cars and guns and swords. Occasionally, i played with Barbie dolls. I loved watching racing and playing racing game. BUT sadly, i would have to forego my goal of going to watch the F1 which is held on friday till sunday. I planned to go, but i decided that the tickets is too expensive for me to buy coz i'm saving money for something else. Goodbye F1! My favorite since i was a kid.

Hard Work

Hard work pays off. First time its been accepted with praises and sparks of greater ideas for the main in-charge. I'm gonna prove that i'm worth the pay of 4 digit.

Assurance

I'm a daughter of God. Just yesterday, i received a bad news. I wept. Today, few minutes ago, i received a good news that swept my bad news away. Praise the Lord! Every tear i cry, God keeps it in a bottle, and He assures me, that all things work out for good to those who loved Him!

State of Bliss

A cup of hot chocolate keeps the cold away.

A fall

First time i fell down with blood and scratches from rollerblading. It doesn't hurt on the day i fell. Now it hurts real bad. A test of my threshold for pain.

Singapore Drumfest 2008

Singapore Drumfest 2008

Well, i felt so happy to be part of the team this year as i wasnt around last year due to my trip to vietnam. Anyway, i was in charge of ticketing and door sales so for both days, i was glad that i have learnt so much more from this entire event. I will blog more about this later but due to the lack of time, i will just put pictures first. Enjoy! (not all picture is here)

Lynn's Wedding

Alright. I'm known for updating my blog slow and not on time. I promise myself that i will update my blog on Lynn's wedding. So here goes.

Well, this cousie of mine is my favorite. I really admire her a lot based on the her character etc. So, when i heard that she is getting married, i felt so happy for her. Haha. Anyway, throughout the entire wedding day, her mom and her dad are the busiest. Especially my aunt Lisa. She has run here and there, making sure everything is perfect and even though she has entrusted my mum, my sis and i to be at the reception handling seating arrangements and collection of the red packets, she is still not at ease and therefore, she is always at the reception counter helping out. I could basically sense her anxiousness, excitement and joy. Haha. It's contagious. Anyway, i realised that arranging for a wedding is not that easy after all. For Lynn and Rob, after getting married and with all the arrangement and stress for their wedding in Australia, they have to think about their wedding over here in Singapore. If i were them, i would make it short and sweet over here. You know the drill. Show the relatives and friends and thats it. Haha. She loves the location CHIJMES a lot therefore, she decided to held her wedding there. The place has a bit of a victorian styled type of feeling which i think is pretty cool though, unlike weddings at high-end hotels such as Fullerton or Shangri-La for instance. After that day, i realised that the most important about the wedding ceremony and celebration will never be about those who attend. It will 100% be about the bride and the groom. Period. After what had happen due to the lack of seats, i have picked up an important skills though.


At the end of the day, we went to the bride's room to say goodbye and well, i overheard the cost of the wedding dinner at CHIJMES. I thought that was the price of everything. BUT i was wrong. Mum told me in the cab on the way home that before that, they would have at least pay half of it already. Wow. So expensive. Haha. Plus, one has to consider that she gets wedding celebration at both sides. So imagine the cost. AND its in Aussie currency. So, you would have expect it to be even more expensive.

Last but not least, putting aside everything, i wish them all the best in everything they do and that their love will prosper everyday.


Here are the pics:

Creepy

Alright. Yesterday, i was watching a tv series online.That series had finish airing on tv. However, the date yesterday was 10-09-2008. Just nice, the cheque written here (see the picture) that was show in my computer screen when i was watching one episode was the same date. Oh wow. The episode was screened on air in August. How creepy. And this is not the first time that it has happen to me. No. The previous time, it was the exact time from my computer clock with the analog clock in the movie. How creepy. It happens to me all the time. Same date or same time. Coincidence do occur. But so many times?

Life is so fragile.

What is love?

Heartfelt poem

Julia wrote this poem for me when she found out what happen to my bass guitar. My dad just sold it off,making it seems invaluable but in fact, it is valuable to me in many ways. A great shout out to Julia for your care and concern and really appreciate all that she has gone for me. I thank God for her and may God bless her in everything she does.


Is it worth
is it worth the tears
you broke my heart for the umpteenth time
you, a man i still call dad

is it worth fighting for
you tore my art pieces and sold my guitar
you destroyed my world over and again

is it worth living on
you trample on everything we have
you stooped so low to keep up with your dirty gambling vice
you make the home a desperate, unwelcoming den

Every tear I cry
somebody comforts me from above
Everytime I fight
my passion for art and music strengthens
And I will choose to live
to tell a story that will bring hope to the anguished

~Copyright by Julia.

Rock On! FOP and Singfest 2008

Festival of Praise is on the 1st to the 3rd of August 2008. I went only on one day this year, the 1st of August. Well, this year a new band got invited to lead in the praise and worship for the entire session and they are known as the Parachute Band. I dont wanna comment much on them but anyway, they are just great.

Singfest 2008. Aug 2-3rd 2008. I went for the 2nd day. The ticket is $200 plus. I got it for free. Thank God for it. anyway, what i really like most of it is that it is outdoor. Though its crowded, but i just love loud music everywhere, but absolutely not in contained room. My favorite of the entire line up would be Pussycat Dolls but that is also my worst experience. Anyway, i was hanging out together with the church backup vocalist June and two others and before it was pussycat dolls, we decided that we want to move to the front to watch them. Indeed, the front view is great but not when you are standing behind a bunch of caucasians who doesn't seem to realise that their height is a turn off for those behind them, us asians. We talk to them nicely, but it doesn't work. Oh well. Anyway, we then try to squeeze side ways. But again, caucasians. This time, it was a woman. She is so sweaty with her tube top and amazingly, her boyfriend and his family actually brought red wine there. haha. Its fun and all but what makes me go irk is just her sweat touching my arms. The first thing i did when i reach home, is to scrub myself clean. haha. Anyway, i didn't take any photos as i didn't bring my camera. For more info, visit Singfest 08 website. haha

SMET hoodie

I was just going through the net, when i saw this picture of Tara Reid with the same hoodie that i have. Hmm. I wonder how she kept hers so clean. Probably she only wear it once. haha.

Mission Trip To Tanjong Balai (4-6 July 2008)

I know that i have been procrastinating in blogging this entry, so here goes.

Day 1.

• checked into hotel. (there are 2 hotels-due to the size of the team). Mine was the wisma king star hotel. [but it doesn't make you feel like a king though]
• the team is divided into 2 groups. 1st group to go to the church to prepare everything required for the ministry training at night. the 2nd group is to go to the beach to plan for the emerge outdoor activities for the next day.
  
• went with the 2nd group instead as the musician team is only required to send the keyboardist and drummer only. thus, i went to the beach to have fun.
• after arriving at the beach, i took time to explore the place and breathe in fresh air, which was absolutely different from Singapore.
• took bus back to the church and help out with the ministry training thing. all forms of ministry had local members to teach to. Except for the musicians. The musicians just stood below the platform and hang around there. i wonder why. probably language barrier.
• had dinner, and off to bed....for most of us. I hang around the lobby with the rest and listen to the testimony of a local church youth leader. Indeed, i was touched and moved by his testimony.
  

Day 2 (MY BIRTHDAY!)

• Fun time at the beach!! I went to help out at the beach volleyball station and had great fun before they started. But due to my lack of training and months(or year) since i last played, i forgot the correct way and injured my hand. Thank God its not that painful.
• Supposed to go and catch the ball before it roll to the sea, but apparently, Jaime had been snatching my 'job'.
  
• in the end, i became a time keeper and many things happen that really make me change my mindset about leaders. Definitely.
• They celebrated my birthday, was pretty touched though (but i wouldn't if Jaime meant what he said by throwing me into the sea)
  
• It went out of schedule so the musicians quickly rush back to the hotel to get change and i just grabbed my bass guitar, changed and quickly went to meet the rest at the hotel lobby. Our lunch was quick and fast(haven't eaten so fast for so long).
  
• The church that we went to, ain't the same as the night before. Many occurrence of power failures. before our corporate prayer (the musicians, the stage ministry team as a whole), we said that before our prayer ends, we believe for the the power to come back again. true enough, it did. God is great all the time. He is never late.
• Church service went on pretty well with the emerge items but i'm pretty upset about my playing for the 1st worship. it was too loud. i took it for granted by not adjusting it again. haiz.
• anyway, praise the Lord that for the alter call, the leaders step forward to be prayed for. When leaders take the first step, they actually open the doors for their members. Imagine if you believe in something and want to go for it but your leaders remain stagnant and nonchalant about it.
• altogether, day 2 passes by quickly and praise be to God for everything.

Day 3

• musicians, vocalist wake up the earliest to be there at another church for sound checking.
• i pretty much like this church, am fully satisfied with my playing. I did a good job. [pat myself on my back]
• one of the SOT members preached.
  
• everything is basically done by the SOT peeps themselves. they did a great job.
• there is nothing much to shop there, so i didn't get any souvenirs or anything if you are planning to ask me for one.
• getting ready to go back to singapore, the ferry left late. i reached singapore late. reached scape late. took a cab. the cab driver had MOHAWK hairstyle. he is in his 20's. he wore a spectacle. drove Mercedes taxi. he is a gentleman. doesn't use crude words. he took shortcuts. its pretty cheap from harborfront to orchard. amazingly.

Will upload pictures soon. (signs that my procrastination hadn't been cured yet)..


Signing out.

Thoughts

Few minutes ago, i was researching on a psychological problem, Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a chronic, severe and disabling disease.(if you want to know more, do read it up on websites. Try googling it). When i was reading information about it, i thought to myself this, "what if...what if someone around me has it? what would i do?" It all voice down to what I believe in.

French mathematician, physicist and philosopher BLAISE PASCAL (1623-1662) said that "Man greatness lies in his power of thoughts". If you are having a problem such as Schizophrenia, and you dont realise it, will that make you less greater than others? Will that make you insignificant?


I realise that our thoughts can change the destiny of our lives. If we allow ourselves to be drowned with negative thoughts, obviously, we are being led by the nose and down into the river. Today, that is what happened to me. I led myself to believe that i'm being very weak by doing the things that I did, instead of standing out of the box, and discover that what I did was considered a good will to another.


Well, i always like to tell people about the story of the man who work is related to railway. The story goes like this. A man, who is an engineer of trains(assume to be a railway type of train), will always tell himself at the start of his day that when he see someone who accidentally fall into the railway track, he will save that individual. As days passed, it sipped into his subconscious mind. One day, while waiting for the train to go home after work, a boy fell down to the track and a train was approaching. Without even thinking, the man jumped down and shield the boy with his entire body directly above the boy, while the others at the railway station, they are astound, shocked and while some scream and did nothing, others called for help. However, it was too late. the train couldn't stop in time and it just went on and on. Everyone at the train station was devastated. A minute passed. The man stood up. Both the boy and himself are alright. Why is this so? Firstly, the man knew everything about trains. So he knew about the gap in between trains and the dimensions that he is allowed to maneuver with. However, all this will not work if he did not instill it in his subconcious mind. When asked about why he jumped and save the boy, he couldn't give a direct answer. It was all because of his subconscious. Consciously, day after day, whatever he told himself, that goes into his subconscious.


Our conscious mind can process 16 bits of information per second, our unconscious however can process 11 million. So, if we kept telling ourself that we are a failure, obviously, we will be. The power of thoughts.

Teen book installation

Alright. After 3 day till night rushing through of my work, finally....its 8/10 done. Whew. Another thing to thank God for, is that yesterday, i'm suppose to reach scape early but due to my tiredness and laziness, i said i will reach late and bam, its really thank God that i didn't go early...there's an explosion at power building. (go read the news)


So far, my birthday is just 2 days away(according to the time now..11.51pm) and i have received/fulfilled items from my want list.

I have got a Ipod Nano silver from IML. I won in the monster design. I deserve it(so she say).

I received True Religion jeans from ________ as my birthday present.

Alright. This is the new updated want list:

1. Acoustic guitar
2. Design Books - preferably vouchers from Basheer...as much as possible!!!
3. Borders/Kinokuniya vouchers.
4. Ferrari car models
5. Box set of markers from art friend
6. Art friend vouchers
7. MAC makeup
   
8. Perfumes
9. Money
10. Bags
11. Laptop
12. Camera
13. Spectacles
14. Sunglasses
15. PSP games
16. CSI Box Set
17. Ghost Whisperer Box Set
18. TVB hong kong series box set
19. Supernatural box set
20. Gramophone vouchers!!!
21. F1 racing tickets
22. Tickets to watch a play
    

thats all for now.


My brain is like a vacuum cleaner, it sucks when i used it. --> i saw this somewhere, and i really like it a lot.

July the 5th

Alright. My birthday is coming (in case you didn't realise). And the date would be July the 5th. Well, many people do share the same birthday date as me (obviously!! just look at the statistics of birth count every day.) but the most important thing is, how are you gonna treasure every single moment you have in life, not only on your birthday. So, this year, i will be celebrating my birthday overseas!!! I am going for a mission trip. With my mum SOT's group. But not confirm yet until the approval of her in-charge. Anyway, lets just assume that i will be going, then i will be away!! Whee. But then again....nay. Being in a faraway island, trapped alone.....NAH! what ********. Haha...nope. Its so gonna be fun. Its EMERGE!!! Whee...


Anyway, as usual. Below is a list of my birthday WANT list. I emphasize on the WANT. (if you wish, the probability of it happening is very little. If you want it, its a demand.)

1. New MP3 Player (any brand...but must be one that i like)
   
2. New camera (preferably Sony)
   
3. True Religion Jeans. (its like i'm gonna start a collection soon)
4. Tops
5. $100 Voucher from CK Jeans
6. New perfumes (my dad threw all of mine away...crazy already)
   
7. MAC makeup
8. New bag
9. Money (tons of it)
   
10. Vouchers from Borders. (have been there quite often lately)
11. Box set of Copic Markers (the more the merrier)
12. Ferrari car models
13. New laptop (i had in mind what i want already)
14. Subscription for magazines

Hmm. I know i owe many people birthday presents. So i guess i wont be expecting much.

Surrender

I hang on safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly,
Not one has fallen.
So many years i shaped each one
Reflecting my heart
Showing who i am

Now You asking me to show
What I'm holding on so tightly
Can't open my hands
Can't let go
Does it matter
Should i show You?
Can You let me go?

Surrender, Surrender
You whisper gently
You say i will be free
I know but can't You see
My dreams are me.

Say You have a plan for me
That You want the best for my life
Tell me the world has yet to see
What You can do with
One that is committed to Your calling
Now of course I know what i should do
That I can't hold on to my dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Would You take them away
Forever
Or can I dream again?

Surrender, Surrender
You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see
My dreams are me


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes, i find it hard to trust, difficult to let others into my life. I want to be in control. I want to be in control. I want to be in control. I trust myself. I trust myse....

Let Go Let Go Let Go
Let Go Let Go
Let Go
Let...

Surrender...the hardest thing to do, but yet, the most comforting thing to do.

Happy Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUN!!

Love

On Yilin's msn nick, she wrote, "love is like a rumor, everyone talks about it but no one truly knows". Wow. Its interesting, so i thought of penning down a post about my views on love. I wrote those poems myself, didn't edit it or gave much thoughts about it.


On Missing someone:

When i open my eyes,
I couldn't see you here.
Walking past hallways,
Emptiness is all i can feel.
Only then,
Do i realise,
The place reeks of coldness.

Even as i try my best,
To overcome,
I couldn't convince myself,
To believe that you are
No longer here.

But i guess i have to start,
Walking this lonely path of mine,
With you in my heart.
Even though we live a different life,
Our heart still beats as one.

On breakup, this is how i would feel:

Humans, or should i address
Women
Are not plants nor animals
So with your change of heart
Are we immune too?

Should i cry or laugh
To portray my mixture of feelings?
Should i make it seem like a fiction,
Or like a broken down fairy tale?

You, the man
Thought i should let you go
And let you fulfill the desires of your heart
As if i'm the cruel one here

Your happiness seems so believable
Your love makes me weak
I guess i can only say,
Breakup is the only way.


This video is for the song "First Love". My favorite song of all time.

Sun's New Song

Sun's new song. I stumble upon this online. I listened to the track. I really loved it though. I can't seem to put it here.

the song. It makes me think about my circumstances....wow. Such great encouragement.

This few days, i have noticing about women and sorta compared them (or should i say us) with that of the historical english and chinese type. Amazingly, i remembered this. So, to all the women out there, this is dedicated to you.


A westerner philosopher once said this


Women,
dazzling diamonds and glittering jewellery
Have won you illusory majesty
But what's left around you
Is only snobbish poison,
The odour of arrogance,
And alluring but fatal fragrance.
Women,
When you once again salute wealth,
Fail fame and extol power,
Please do not ask about the sparrow which sang to you
It has flown away...

Because it has sung itself hoarse

Its golden voice has perished
For the sake of its real,
Dignified and pure soul





When you read deeper into this poem, you will understand, how the world has progress, and how things are different as well as how things are ought not to be or supposed to be.

27 May 2008

Early in the morning. He woke me up with his vulgarities flying up to the air and having no sense of direction.

Nonsensical.

Eyes open. Staring up into the white space of my room ceiling. Emptiness. I felt so empty, and its the morning.


Settled some admin stuff. Whew. Its pretty done.


Can't believe, i'm having a feeling of wanderlust.


Your name that i carry, doesn't make you my ______.


If only....



Today is going to be a great day.



Abigail is procrastinating. (dont breathe down my neck when you read this)




Logging off.

Strikeforce Boot Camp

Strikeforce Boot Camp. The result of the winning group for the overall games is out yesterday. Boon announced that my group won! yeah! i didn't expect it. But thank God for that. We did take effort to think of the sequence and everything.


Boon shared something after he announces the results. It is about team dynamics. I guess in a percussion group like Strikeforce and even for other things that require group work, team dynamics is very important. For my group, i feel that the team dynamics is there at times, but when everyone is tired, it slackens a bit. BUT this is my opinion.


For MTT yesterday, Boon was sharing with us as usual. I really like to listen to him sharing with us about things be it about God, music etc. Everytime he shares, i feel so blessed to have him as my leader, as it always inspire me when i'm down, it encourages me to move to greater heights in everything i do when i'm doing well. Wow. I really appreciate it and am grateful to be under his leadership.

Last Day of Work

Friday 23rd May 2008.

It marks the last day of my work as a relief teacher for art in Dunman Sec Sch. I couldn't help but reflect on all the things that have happen and the things that i do while i'm teaching in that school. I have learnt a lot of stuff such as friendships, cooperation etc from my students. Life is not only about receiving but it is also about giving. I hope i would have given the kids skills and expand their knowledge about art. Hopefully.

While working at this school, i dont really talk much to teachers there except for relief teachers like me, Mr Khairyl and Ms Kwek. I really thank God that Ms Kwek has been so kind and patient with me. She gave me a note and Jellybeans(from Marks and Spencer! Yes!) and truly, i'm very inspired and am glad that i have a chance to know her.

Indeed, it might have been God's will after all. I prayed for open doors and exposure and the next day, i got it. Rulan messaged me about the relief teaching thing. Then, Elroy and Angela(both relief teacher, Elroy the one whom i replaced) said that they have been praying for a new art teacher for quite a while because they couldn't find one and bam! i came. haha. Thank God for it. God is never late.


Anyway, to all my students who might be reading my blog, just wanna say a big THANK YOU for your cooperation in paying attention to my lessons, all the time you have to stay back after school on short notices and for handing in your homework and assignments on time. I wish you all the best for your future and study hard and get good grades!

Competition

Yesterday, the girls in the classes that i taught have their inter-class captain ball match. I went to see some of the rounds and indeed, i can see class spirit, the determination to win and the will to fight. However, competition such as this can have two kinds of effect. Firstly, it will strengthen the bonds between classmates and for them to learn how to cooperate between one another. On the other side, competition may brought forth effects such as isolation from fellow classmates just because he/she did not or was not able to persecute the things that they want to acheive as a class.

As for me as an individual, i love competition BUT it is always competiting against MYSELF. What do i mean by this? Well, it meant that i will try to ensure that i will win myself in everything that i do. For example, lets take into account an examination. If my history test i got an A2, i would want to win by getting an A1 the next time round. I guess this is what i would call a healthy competition. It becomes unhealthy when all you want to do is to win your friends and never admit defeat.

Sometimes, i wonder. Why do my friends want to compete so much be it in studies, financially etc.

Anything But....

I went to the doctor just now. Its for my knee pain. I know that ever since i injured myself last time and with all the straining and all that happen during my basketball training last time and with excessive running, obviously it wont get any better. Well, even about 2 years of break without excessive running, apparently my situation didn't get any better. Yesterday was the worst for me. So, i couldn't sleep. I took leave today and went to see a doctor. If i knew, i would have go earlier so Dr Michael would be there. Instead, another doctor was there. He pretty much talked with an accent. Oh well. He asked me lots of questions and i told him about the fall that i had few weeks back as it causes my knee to become swollen. He did a check by asking me to lie down and all and this they charged me for $2 on top of everything. haha. Anyway, i'm diagnosed with knee infection. How weird. However, the phrase i hated to hear was being spoken. "If the pain persist, please come back and i will send you for x-ray and you would have to go for physio". ARGH! Everytime i see a doctor for knee problem, they would say that and the pain would just persist BUT i didn't go back though. I dont want to go physio. Haiz. I went online to check the contents of the medicine and everything and i'm sorta worried about taking that medicine. probably i shouldnt even go search for it and now i have a fear of even taking my first medication but i know that it is good for me. Haiz. I would do anything but not go for physio.

When did i become a nerd?

Last sunday, which was Global Day of Prayer, i acted as a nerd by using Millie's spectacles. Haha. It was fun. Nevertheless, Global Day of Prayer went on smoothly, praise the Lord for that. I thank God for the opportunity to play for such an event, and i thank God that His presence is always there to comfort and strengthen.

Strikeforce Gathering

Yesterday was strikeforce gathering. Everything went on smoothly including the games that esther and i have prepared. Thank God for His wisdom. After watching the videos and reflecting on what Boon had said, i searched within myself thinking about my commitments to strikeforce and apparently, i realised that i aint doing enough.


The person who inspired me the most, is actually Heidi. She fell down before the gathering (i guess) and seeing her knees being bruised, my heart melt. However, when i was talking to her and playing with her, she kept pulling her skirt to cover her bruise. Probably it is to cover up the fact that she is injuired, but i admire her bravery. With bruise like hers, and as a child, most would cry, but yet, she is so brave enough to ignore and tolerate her pain and carry on watching the videos. Until now, i can't help but think about the strength that is within her and she knows it hurts, but she kept on moving on. Probably this is a reflection of us as a Christian. We fell, but yet we get up on our feet with bravery and move on. Her father (Boon), after knowing what had happen, went to her and ask if it is painful. Once again, being confident and brave, she said no. Her dad kissed her and reassured her by saying how brave she is. This is like God. God will also reassure us when we fell. He will pull us up on our feet and encourage us.

Depressed?

Depression for me now, only last few minutes. I'm suffering one right now. So here's a video that describe how i feel. Its only temporary. It will be gone in .........5........4.........3........2..........1. I'm fine again. Haha. Welcome to my life where depression is nothing but a mood swing. As my name goes, "God is joy". So i will be filled with God's joy. He is a God who is full of joy, not of sorrow.

What do you go to school for?

this is what they go for school for. I hope the students that i teach go to school for a better reasons than this. Haha. My all-time favorite song.

The pursuit of Cinderella or is it plain stupidity?

As a child,
I have been told,
Of tales of cinderella.
Hearing of the happy ending
I would wish upon the stars,
Wanting to become just like her.

Thinking i could be like her,
Like any girl would hope,
With nothing good to show,
Only a desire
To fulfill that cinderella's wish.

I dream of cinderella,
Am on my knees,
Pleading for her glass shoe,
Waiting for a perfect moment,
Till i found my prince charming.

Probably,
There are many glass shoes in this world,
Probably,
You are a cinderella too,
Only waiting to say, "I do".

.........................................Penned by Abigail.


Disease's growing, its epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and i'm going crazy
I can not take it any more

Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?

I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
Thats what i wanna see

................taken from Pink-Stupid Girls

Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9n8QHCkPLA to watch Stupid Girls video. (if you are interested).

Guess how is this video made

Its Not Where You Are From, Its Where You Are At

After a hard day at work or in school, one deserves to head down to the big screen. The enjoyment of seating in a big comfy chair, eating gloriously sinful food, great graphics and music that rock your world, it feels like heaven on earth. BUT this does not happen everytime, it only happens when you get to watch a movie with contents that deserve a standing applause.

Did i just waste my money watching a movie that last two hours, or have i just spend the time wisely? I have learnt lessons from this movie, such as the quote stated in my entry title. "Its not where you are from, its where you are at". This talks a lot about ignoring your background and start from where you are. It doesn't matter the failures that you experience previously, the many shortcomings or stumbling blocks you have in your life, what matters the most, is actually picking yourself up on your feet, start from where you are, to go to where you want to be at, going for what you stand for, what you believe it. (oh sharks, a run on sentence).

Though i think the storyline is quite a typical type that suits the theme of the movie, i appreciate the time spent and would not regret it because i managed to see someone i have been wanting to see wishing that all is well with that individual. Anyway, time spent with friends will take away all sorts of stress for me, but it works differently at times too.


If you are wondering what movie i'm talking about and is sick and tired of me beating about the bush, here goes the movie poster.

Princeton University

Suddenly, i thought about Princeton University. I always like Princeton University and amazingly, people whom i admire all came from that university. Including him.

Relief Teaching-Yay or Nay?

Alright, i'm going to blog about my first week in school(though the week not over yet). I will not blog like a typical teenager when they start off their first day in school. Haha. So, this post is dedicated to my fellow readers, be it active or otherwise(hate silent readers, bleh!) even though i dont really see a need to blog about it though i have said so that i will blog about it though. Anyway, here goes. (Get ready to blow!)

In Chronological order.

Counting down....3......2......1.....


24th March 2008:

• Woke up at 6am. Tired, sleepyhead, but still got out of bed. Walked to school, it was so warm in the morning. Reached school, signed in at 7am and waited for the assembly to start.
• Did my lesson plan over the weekend for sec 1 class but not for sec 2 because the SOW is pretty hard to understand(not because i'm stupid, no).
  
• First lesson of the day, is actually not a lesson at all. i have to bring the class down for their health check-up and i thought it was great. BUT surprisingly, the students had a chat with me(suppose to be the other way round right? haha) and should i say, it was a pretty crude form of introduction. They gave me a very 'good impression' of themselves. They call themselves the 2 horny girls. I shall not further elaborate what they said. Probably you can use your own form of imagination BUT please do not tell me about it. I had had enough. After this 2 periods ended, i left them sitting at the atrium, waiting for their next teacher. The feelings that i have, hmmm. What should i say, grotesque or in awe or shock? Well, its none of those. I felt normal. Haha.
• Mr Khairyl, the teacher who will guide me for this week and going to class with me, helped me through the entire sec 1 and 2 classes for the first day. Whew. Which means that the 2nd lesson of the day is actually sec 1 class.
  
• So he basically does most of the teachings BUT dont get bored out yet all you readers, because I still have to make my speech, set ground rules and expectations.

GROUND RULES WHEN YOU ARE IN MY CLASS:

1. Dont talk when i'm talking. If you want to let your voice be heard, raise your hand. Don't be rude.
   
2. Each individual student can only go to the toilet ONCE irregardless of the number of periods for art on that day. So, too bad for the secondary 1 students, they have 4 periods and 3 periods in a row so they better be wise and know when is urgent and when is not. No 2 students are allowed to go to the toilet together.
3. Any form of misconduct be it sleeping in class or other similar form of misbehavior will result in punishments.
4. Failure to hand in homework the first time you will have to write for me, "I will hand in my homework on time" 1000 times. Yes. Its not a typo error. a 1 and 3 zeros. No, you can't type it out. Hand-written. Second time you forget, you will hold a placard saying, "I will hand in my art homework on time" during recess time at the canteen. 3rd time, wow. You are indeed a hard nut to crack. Go straight to the principal, or see Mr Bernard.
   

3 Main Principles that a student would have to follow:

1. Details- homework or classwork must be done in neat handwriting, properly colored, every small little matter matters. Failure to comply will result in consequences that one would regret. (similar to what Mr Leow had done previously....[failure to write name on your work when handed in will result in your work being torn in front of the whole class and not getting any grade until you have submitted another piece with your name on it])
2. Determination- i always believe that for whatever things that you lack in life, you make it up with your determination. Same here. If you dont understand something or still dont know a specific technique taught in class, be determine to come and look for me and get me to teach you until you know it.
3. Diligence- being talented but not hardworking wont get you anywhere, rather, the lack of diligence will get you ugly things in life.

Therefore, i came up with the equation:

DETAILS + DETERMINATION + DILIGENCE = DESTINY

(pastor kong said that details determine your destiny, i have changed it to this)

Anyway, this equation in the work of a school system is simple. If you fail to provide all three to form destiny, you will only result in getting poor grades, detention (wow, another D) and disappointments.

It seems like im making things difficult for them, BUT i reward students. (follow through to 26 March 2008)

• So, all in all, day 1 just went on smoothly with my last lesson with Mr Faizal who helped me through with it too.
• In conclusion, i did not suffer any sort of fish out of water scenario, as i really hate to become a fish when God has made me in His image. (God is so great,i prayed while walking to school and everything that i prayed for come to pass).
• Before i move on to the next day, while in the staff room, the form teacher of 2E actually came up to me and emphasize to me the importance of being patient with her class and how notorious they can get. Oh wow. 2E class is on wednesday. Will they kill me, or otherwise?

25th March 2008:

• Didnt go to school. No lesson, and Mr Kairyl said i dont have to go for reflection time. Yeah, praise the Lord, i get to wake up late.

26th March 2008:

• Got the greatest scare of the day. Mr Kairyl messaged me before assembly that since the day before he had taken 2 days MC. Oh no, so i'm sorta worried before assembly even started and when Mr Faizal came, i thought he will be with me today, but apparently, he has to prepare for his class as his lecturer from NIE is going to come and grade him. Haiz.
• When to class 2E. Heart is in my mouth BUT thank God i prayed. He is there with me and i dont even feel nervous at all.
  
• Went into the class, state my ground rules and when it comes to the one on homework, wow. You should have seen the look on their face. I didn't smile, they know that i'm serious. So they quieten down.
• Went ahead with my lesson. I told them that if i dont catch anyone sleeping, all will get chocolates next week. And so they are getting it.
• No chaos till now, everything is fine. Then came the foreign exchange students. 5 of them. They are pretty quiet, but because of their arrival, the class started talking. I asked them to keep quiet 3 times, and the 4th time, i said that its the last warning and they suddenly just shut up. Wow.
  
• Gave homework, get complains as usual, BUT everything is great.
  
• I walk out of the class feeling victorious. That is the victory that i gain when i have God with me.
• Went to the staff room and watched I SHOT ANDY WARHOL. Oh my. Its a show about the woman who shot Andy Warhol. In case you dont know who Andy Warhol is, he is the one who drew campbell soup design, marilyn monroe famous art piece etc. Some big shot in the design industry, but he died. Duh. He's being shot. BUT my point in mentioning this movie is that it is one rated RA. They showed the part of printmaking done by Andy Warhol to the students, excluding all the other parts. So, curious as i am as to why the kids gets so excited when Mr Faizal mentioned Andy Warhol, i went to watch the movie using the laptop. Didnt read the review before i watch the movie, its rated RA. There's a part whereby they displayed sexual disorientated people making love and apparently, i wanted to skip that part but it just go crazy at that part, it can't be skip, stopped at that scene, the cd won't come out, and the worst thing, a teacher walked past and has in shock. Oh no. Haha. I told Mr Khairyl, and he said that i should have said, "its an artistic film". Haha. it really was. Anyway, one part that really make me think much is the manifesto of the woman who killed andy warhol. I went online and searched for it, and if you are a guy, better not read it man, its really feminist and still has been.

Argh. Too tired typing all these now. Yawns. Am working now, sorta last day at work here. Will update soon, if i ever want to talk about school if its becoming too normal.


Oh no. I just blogged like a teenager would about his/her first day at school. Shucks.

What Happen to Sara Tancredi??

Sara Tancredi, i would say she is a woman who sacrifices for the man she loved. Then again, what happened? She was decapitated and her head was found in a box.

After chasing for 2 seasons, i came across the third one. As usual, i would jumped to the last episodes hoping for a happy ending for both Sara and Michael. Sadly, that didn't happen. Wondering why Sara was killed, i did a background search on Sarah Wayne Callies, the actress for the character Sara Tancredi.

Apparently, according to what i have found out last night, she gave birth to a daughter in July 2007, which means that while Prison Break Season 3 was still in filming, her stomach would have gone bigger and there would be in no way she can continue the show without a sub body(apparently it is not possible for Sara to become pregnant in the show.) Therefore, i assumed that the possibility of them killing her character is very high, as in the showbiz, the only way that an actor/actress can get out of a show is through killing the character. Either die, drown, or ran away, locked up etc. Then thats the end of the character.


However, i felt betrayed at the fact that they kill Sara Tancredi. I like her in the show. I think the plot is great but they just killed my favorite character. Do i still want to continue watching season 3 properly? I wonder. Today, i continue to search for the answers to this. I have to know why, have to know the truth to please and ease myself from being upset about the death of Sara.

To fellow prison break fans like me, below is an interview done which may answers/appease the queries raised. (taken from tvguide.com)

Last January, after it was announced that Sarah was pregnant, your colleague, Paul Scheuring, assured fans that he had no intention of killing off her character. What changed?
Matt Olmstead: What changed is that our initial pitch to the network was [rejected], so we had to go back to the drawing board. I remember we were sitting in the room thinking, "How do we unlock Season 3, motivation-wise?" Since we're not a procedural, we have to keep everyone moving forward. We have to evolve. And given what Michael's been through, how do you keep him going? And then it was tossed out, "What happens if Sara gets killed as an extension of what we already had planned for Season 3?" We knew that would work. But clearly it was a big conversation. And when we pitched the network, they wanted to know if there was any way we could avoid that, because everyone loved Sarah's work. But in order to make the season work, we really didn't have any other motivation for Michael. We determined that this was the right thing to do in order to really jolt the series.

Did you ever stop to consider that this might be a slap in the face to fans who had invested two years in the Michael-Sara relationship?
Olmstead: We took everything into consideration. Our initial idea was to have [Sarah/Sara appear in] the first 13 episodes, so she and Michael could have a proper goodbye. There were going to be some really emotional scenes where he tried to save her from dying, but she ultimately passed. So then we whittled it down to 11 episodes, then 10 episodes, then nine episodes, then four episodes…. Then we suggested flying to her — she was pregnant [at the time] and living in a remote part of Canada — and bringing a camera crew to her house, but that wasn't accepted. We then whittled it down to just a phone conversation, and that was turned down, too. We were really looking forward to paying off that relationship. But [when] it became evident that that wasn't going to happen, we made lemonade out of a lemon.

So, as a result, you were forced to kill her off sooner than you had planned?
Olmstead: Much sooner. We used the story to our advantage in that she was being held hostage. [Sarah] was gracious enough to let us use her image, which really helped. I totally get it, personally. She was, at the time, pregnant and living in a remote part of Canada and nesting; [she] kind of looked at the options and didn't want to go forward. No hard feelings whatsoever. The show is an ensemble. The show moves forward. There are very few untouchable actors on the show.

Wasn't Sarah under contract? Didn't she have to return?
Olmstead: That's a business-affairs question.

[At this point, 20th Century spokesperson Chris Alexander interjects: "We had to either pick her up for the entire season of 22, according to her contract, or we had to make a new contract with her. We determined in May that we didn't plan to use her for the full 22, so we chose not to renew our existing contract with her. And so, to get her back for the 13 or 14 that we wanted, we had to make a new deal, and she declined."]

What was your understanding as to why she didn't want to come back? It seems strange that she refused to return in any capacity. Doesn't it seem strange to you?
Olmstead: It looked like a pretty good deal on the face of it. We definitely came up in money. Thirteen episodes would have allowed the character to have a proper exit. We were willing to push the start date back [to accommodate her maternity leave], which would have meant her coming in [around] Episode 10, but that wasn't accepted. So then we offered to come up [to Canada] before she gave birth and film at her house. Pretty good money and she wouldn't even have to leave her house. That wasn't accepted. So it was a little curious to me and to others why she was taking such a hard stance. [Maybe] she felt that she was made certain assurances about being part of the show this season. And in fairness to her, those assurances were given, because she was such a valuable member of the show…. Also, she's up [in Canada]. She's comfortable. She's starting a family. Maybe she didn't want to have to fly down and have to do this stuff. Or maybe she felt like she wanted to be part of the show [full time], not just half the season. Perhaps she felt a little jilted. Our [original] plan was to definitely keep her for [all of] Season 3, but after a couple of times of getting it kicked back from the network, we had to come up with a new idea and that necessitated her character being killed.

Did you ever get an inkling that she wasn't happy working on the show?
Olmstead: No. I've worked in TV for 10 years. I've been around difficult actors. I've definitely been around malcontents. She was none of those. Great actress. Very smart. Good suggestions. And an asset to the show.

Sarah was recently quoted in a French magazine saying that she was "sad," "shocked" and felt "deceived" by the decision to kill off the character. Presuming this is what she actually said, does this surprise you?
Olmstead: Not really. She was invested in the character and wanted to be a part of the show. We felt the same way.

Let's discuss the way you killed her off. Some might view it as you guys exacting revenge on Sarah for not returning.
Olmstead: We really had no way of using her image other than the existing images that we had. Those Polaroids we used are old wardrobe shots from Season 1 and 2. She didn't give us any new photos. So [we had to devise a way to] kill her [and still] show a body…. Obviously she wasn't going to fly down and be a DOA for us. We just wanted to go with the most dramatic way to do it, a way that you could do it and not need the actress. Also, what it does is it helps put teeth into the antagonist of the show, the Susan character. Because a lot of times with [villains], they're constantly wagging their finger, "You better do this, you better do that or this is going to happen" and it becomes hollow after a while. So, this absolutely dramatizes that when Susan issues a cautionary to Lincoln and that goes unheeded, this is the result.

So Sarah's refusal to return essentially limited how you could kill her?
Olmstead: Yeah, basically. Could you have seen a [body] double's feet being shoved into a meat grinder? Sure. Could you see a wide shot of a female body being dumped in an ocean? Probably. But dramatically, this allowed us to get the most out of what little we had to work with…. We used her not coming back to our advantage. When the bomb finally drops for Michael — and he finds out that she has been killed — it's an unbelievable sequence between him and Lincoln. And it really lays a huge motivation on him.

Response from Sarah Wayne Callies
Although Callies declined multiple interview requests, last Friday the actress sent me the following statement via her spokesperson.

"As hard as we all tried, the Prison Break powers that be and I were unable to find a way to meet both the needs of the story and the needs of my family. We parted wishing each other well. I had a wonderful time working with the creative team and have a world of respect for all of them; they took great care of Dr. Sara. I'm also enormously grateful to the fans. They've been so gracious and supportive, and I hope they continue to enjoy the show."



Goodbye Sara.

10 Things

Recently i saw the cover of a local magazine about 10 most annoying thing. I realise that i want to do my own list of 10 things as well.

10 Most Annoying/Irritating Thing that can happen to me

1. Facebook- countless notification on the mail(when you are waiting for an important email and you are just staring straight at your computer screen waiting for it to update and when it did, bam. Its facebook notification.- childish act of "_______ poke you" then you poke that person back. poke here poke there. Aint those active in facebook ever past that phase of life during their childhood? After poking they will move on to superpoke. Probably i should set up a group that is named, "How Facebook Irritates Me"
2. Excitement of others when they see a local celebrity past them by etc.- these people will go and pull my top or similar sort or shout to me, "HEY!! THAT IS __________!! ARGH!!" haha. i wonder. Why dont people get excited about seeing the wanted man so when people see him, they will call for the police with the same enthusiasm as what they would have when they see a local celeb. I will only become hysterical only when its big shots and the ONLY 1 local celebrity that i like.
   
3. Loud commuters in trains. - oh wow. how loud they seem to be able to project their voices. I can't even focus on reading my book even with ear phone plugged to my ear. like loud hailer.
4. When people feigned ignorance.-ever had people who tell you they dont know but actually they do? yeah. how irritating. reverse psychology.
5. The innumerable growth of fake products.- even when you are carrying the real thing, people will question, "is that real?" so, who suffers in the end? the consumers who paid high prices for the products, the fashion line, the designers and one whole long list of victims.
   
6. Humans like to compare, and so people would take you and compare with themselves etc.- they come to me and say, "so, what have you done during the holidays?" before i could answer, they said of how they manage to get a job in a good company and blah blah blah. When they are finally done, i have no mood to say what i'm doing. NOT because i'm worst than them, but since their head is so inflated, saying what i'm doing will just deflate it at one go and they will go find other areas of comparison. Trust me, it gets on my nerve.
7. Complaints.
8. Nagging- not just by your mum,but from friends too!!
   
9. when you want to buy something nice that you see in a store, they ain't got your size anymore.
10. waking up on the wrong side of bed.-no, this is no for cliche purposes. because my mattress is on the floor and so if i wake up on the wrong side of it, i will end up stepping on my own stuff.

alright. for the magazine, i think they listed how skinny celebs/models said that no matter how much they eat, they will never grow fat. I AGREE AND BELIEVE IT. one real example lives with me everyday. My sister. Oh, you should have seen the amount of food that she can consume and look at her weight. 30 plus kg. probably her BMI is way below average. Mine is average i think. The previous time was slightly lesser.


10 Most Beautiful Thing that can happen to me:

1. Praying to God and feeling His presence. Such joy and peace.
   
2. Being able to relax, have fun with no worries about deadlines, tight schedules of where to go, who to meet etc.
   
3. Being out there i the beach
   
4. Taking sips of magaritas at a quiet bar with friends discussing about the future, life, issues etc.
5. Playing with toddlers and they give you their sweet smiles which will warmth your heart.
6. Getting ahead of deadlines.
7. Watching videos upon videos, movies upon movies with lots of food and comfortable place to rest on
8. Fulfilling my goals or being one step closer to it
9. Getting the things that i want.
10. Receiving my pay- this is the time where most of the things that you want to get seems possible and life will feel great. haha.

10 things/people i can't live without

1. God-My Saviour and My King. without Him, i'm long gone.
2. Mum-for everything. from birth, to childhood, to teenage life, to now.
   
3. Bible- all my answers to life
   
4. Laptop- without it, i'm like a living dead. from games to videos to design, everything is in it.
5. Handphone
6. Credit card cum ezlink card- without it, how do i travel?
7. Wallet-my money is inside
8. Sketch book
9. Books
10. Music

alright. its pretty tiring and boring typing this down. Probably every one should know theirs too


*STAY TUNE FOR MY POST ON MY FIRST DAY AS A RELIEF TEACHER NEXT MONDAY.

Its My Life! Musical First Read

Yesterday, i went for our musical first read. Wow. I am indeed amaze at the ability and talents of Tze Chien and Weng Fu in their speed in producing the script and the music respectively.

What really inspired me and touched me the most is the part whereby Conan and Glory was singing together. Kheng Hua teared, and i controlled my tears from rolling down my cheeks. Wow.

Overall, i think the best part of the entire 1st Read would be the comments given by the professionals. As yesterday's read is by invites only, it turned out that many professionals were there. They gave concrete opinions and viewpoints and ideas unlike those discussions i used to had in schools during GP lessons or in a debate. The people there articulate their points well, and i can visually imagine what they are saying and the changes that they think should be good. Such great foresight. there was this caucasian couple and i really like their opinions the most. They allow me to follow through with them what they are saying and at the same time, they have persuaded me into thinking what they said is true. Then Kheng Hua introduced us to them and all the others and wow, seating in the dance studio contains directors, journalist and people who is of great influence. The caucasian couple, the female one, she teaches in one of the arts school and she used to teach Nicole Kidman vocals!! No wonder she commented on the lifers about the technicalities of their singing. Wow.


After hearing the introduction of the people there and who they are, it is then that i realise that appearance doesn't determine who you are. You dont have to dress top to toe designer wear and yet you can be someone of great importance as compared to an individual to dress to impress and yet they have nothing much to write for their life story. This indeed is a theme that revolves around life: APPEARANCE VS REALITY. I know my literature teachers is sick and tired of us using this in the past, i think that it remains true of the existence of it. It is undeniable.


Anyway, for those who are interested to go for the First Read that is open to the public at scape, please do look at the e-vites below and sms me at 94640918.

Manga Bible

I was just browsing through books at a store seeing if there is any design books of any sort which i can purchase and i stumble upon a Manga Bible. wow. And it is only for $5 only at that store due to discounts but i did not purchase it because the conditions is not good.


Now, it seems like the world is engaging us. Or maybe this is a form of commercialization? I love manga though.

For the sake of beauty

For the sake of beauty, would you sacrifice your health?
For the sake of beauty, would you sacrifice your life?

There are too many things in this world that people would sacrifice for just so that they can have the 'perfect' figure, the charming eyes, the proper lips etc. BUT the price to pay for what is not real is costly.

I just read an article in TODAY paper today about General Practitioner becoming or providing cosmetic surgery service. This resulted in some cases of health defects and problems which created complains and dissatisfaction. According to the newspaper, it states that there are only 35 registered plastic surgeons here as compared to the number of GPs around.

They questioned plastic surgeons with regards to the allowance of GPs to practice cosmetic surgery and Dr Martin Huang said, "we are not saying you can't do this work, but get trained and qualified. Become a bona fide plastic surgeon.". With regards to this, i agree. One can be a jack of all trades, but i believe that in the case of health-related issue, i would never seek the advice from one who is a jack of all trades. I prefer consulting a specialist as their main study would be that of what they specialise in and thus the time spent on research, studying etc would obviously be incomparable to that of one who knows a slight bit of everything.


I went to search for some plastic surgery failure story and one story indeed touched my heart. I seriously felt that as a plastic surgeon, one should be responsible, instead of doing it for the sake of money. That is the part of the plastic surgeon. The other party responsible would be the recipient of the surgery. He/she should take the initiative to question any doubts, do their own research, seek other medical experts advice first before finally getting a plastic surgery done. This way, it would help the procedure to become more effective as well as productive while at the same time, the patient would be at ease too.


Thinking of this, it reminds me of the tv show Nip/Tuck. It is a drama about plastic surgery. There is this one episode whereby the anesthetic didn't work out and therefore though the lady is sleeping, she can actually feel the pain upon every single cut that the doctor does and as an audience, one is able to hear her cry whereas the people in the operating room seems deaf about it.


For the sake of beauty, men and women alike both sacrifice. What is the price one is willing to pay?



For this, i am persuaded not to sacrifice my health for the sake of beauty. Rather than lamenting on what i do not have, i should appreciate what God has given me and use means which would not affect my health to stay beautiful and become who i am instead of who i want to be. It takes lots of courage to practice this, because the media and the world are constantly filled with things that would easily sway or persuade one to adjust to the needs of the world, and not to the desires of your heart.

Everyone's persuasion is different. What matters is being happy, not being flaky.